Tell 'em that it's my birthday


May 6th... I'm not going to lie, I was dreading my birthday. An entire day where you have have to pretend to be happy and smile.

I've been getting a lot of 'why don't you smile anymore?' And 'you used to look so much happier.' Recently. Knowing people notice these things about you is kind of daunting, and it takes a hit at your self confidence. It suddenly makes you feel like you have to act a certain way around certain people. So if anyone were to see me sitting quietly on own on my birthday, not smiling, not talking, being how I felt... I'll shut up now, I'm dragging on. In a nutshell I set myself up for an emotionally exhausting day, trying to stay happy and act excited in front of people.

But it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that at all.

The midnight messages and phone calls and quick Skype chats when the night turned to my birthday were what started it off.
Then at breakfast, it was a few cards and presents from the family... At school it was bumping into people and happy birthday messages.
At morning break it was presents and a quick piece of cake and trying to close my locker filled with so many gift bags.
At lunch it was more cake and opening presents and even more cake. And then, 'THERE'S POTATOES IN THE CANTEEN!' And then rushing to buy some of those delicious carbohydrates. And then is was some more happy birthday things followed by nostalgic conversations and inside jokes which are now another year older.
And then it was walking home. And looking at the things my friends had bought me, made for me, written to me.

My birthday wasn't a day full of my fake happiness and empty smiles. My birthday wasn't a day of worry and 'yeah, no, I'm fine I swear.'
My birthday was a day of realizing my friends actually cared, which was a bit of a strange realization for me.
But yeah, I don't really have much more to say.
Just don't set yourself up for a bad day, because you never know what it may actually be like.

Where to find me -
For business inquiries:

You Might Also Like


Total Pageviews